CONFRONTATION!!!!!!

Let's see, how do I start this blog????? Right to the point I guess like everything else I share.. Let me first say I write this blog to share my life experiences, so as maybe someone can learn from some of my mistakes and mostly my triumphant's of 51 years on this planet we call EARTH!!!!

So last night a friend was over, and we are embarking on a big new adventure, but it is a BIG adventure that we all must be on the same page about... Now before I start I want to let you all know I love this man like he was my brother, and I think the reason I do is because of what I am about to share with you all!!!!

So anyways we got to talking about everything, come to find out he was not on the same page AT ALL!!! So long story short we talked (Very LOUD) to get our points across. To the tune of about 4 hours... Well when he left, NOTHING had been gotten on the "same page" if ya know what I mean;) So I stayed up most of the night stewing about how "WRONG & UNREASONABLE" HE was, lol.... Then it finally came to me, he made a "little" sense in a "few" areas :) So I reworked "MY" plan to include his thoughts ~ go figure!!! So I called him this morning to run by my new thoughts, and he goes yea, I think that could really work. I told him I was furious with him last night, and he "CALMLY" goes yea, I knew you were, lol.... Did I mention, I really love him!!! Well as I go through this day, "MY" plan is now even BETTER!!!! because of him!!! Then I talked to my son (MJ) and tell it all to him and say " you know your mom is a little strong willed at times" well he didn't say a word, but I heard the laugh, and could almost hear him say "YA THINK????" then we talked about another friend from years ago, from the lake, and lots of people had major issues with him, but I loved him... and just today I figured out why.....

Because you knew right where he stood, and he may come right back at ya where you think he wasn't listening but he was and when we would go home for the week, most of the time we would come back and say " you were right there and I was wrong here" and we had mutual respect for each other... Same with my "brother" last night... We didn't need to agree on everything BUT...... We did need to talk it out!!! So yes I hate confrontation, but I believe it is so much better to get it all out on the table (in love), than to keep silent and go for weeks, months and even years, Angry in you heart, because you never laid your thought out on the table... I have people in my life who are not able to talk things out and I respect that, but those people don't seem to hold the same place in my heart as the ones who can speak freely and go home and blow up and come back with a "I was wrong here, but you were a little off there" and in turn make a much better relationship in the long run..

All that said to say this, LIFE is worth the "fight"!!!! It, for me at least, has ALWAYS made for a stronger, and deeper relationship... One of true love and respect for the other person... Life is about trials and disputes... It's how you come out on the other side that counts.. So if I'm ever unreasonable, TELL ME!!!, Then give me a day or two, I'll come tell ya I'm sorry and love ya!!! God Bless, Go live this beautiful life to the fullest, and remember to do it in LOVE!!!!!

Enjoying where I am in my life

This morning I was thinkin about how much my life has changed in the last year. And I am so thankful for the changes....Let's see where to start???? I KNOW:)

DRAMA; These days I have no time for it!!! Don't get me wrong, threre are troubles in peoples lives that is truely trouble and needs fixing and compassion, and I love it that God has shown me how to be a compassionate ear in those cases.... But really some people are ALWAYS in a mess, drama with a capital DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD...... Thers no time in my world for that anymore, nor the people who are constantly in it... I know that sounds rough coming from me... But I just don't have the time. At my age, my friends are starting to battle sickness, and taking care of aging parents, and yes even starting to die.... That is where I want my Ear to be these days.

MONEY; Or should I say lack of it:) Most all of you know how scary last year was for us, but looking back, I'm thankful for the lesson. Through it I've learned to REALLY enjoy the simple life, staying home and counting my BLESSINGS day by day... So now that we have the money to pay bills and life isn't as scary as it was a year ago, we still can't afford much. Now I know a 5 dollar movie with my cousin is a treat. We have met friends in town for wing night and the cost is 15 bucks for Jeff and I both, and that includes a 5 dollar tip:) I love it that we have found peace right here in our own backyard.. Jeff loves to be HOME, playing on the computer and watching Matt Dillon on TV. We enjoyed SKYPING last night from my cousins and Aunt in Cali...Can you believe we can see them right there in their living room??? That is AWESOMENESS!!!! I am finding I LOVE cooking again. and the simple pleasure of cleaning the horse stalls makes me smile. I love that I gave myself permission to stay in bed this morning till 10:00 watching the cooking channel, and then wasted time here BLOGGING (or is that a waste of time? I'm thinking NOT:) So if I don't get to Hawaii this year OR EVER, I am totally at peace with that...:)

So when was it that I got all this peaceful wisdom????? Well I'm not sure... I know it didn't come easy for me. You see I'm a doer, always busy at something, always on the run..... But the last year forced me, not only because of money, but also some pretty extreme pain in my body, to SLOW down, take it easy, help the people God puts on my heart via the telephone or FB. I've found my body isn't as sore when I don't stress it, AND the people in my life are the ones I talk to on a constant basis, who encourage me, and I encourage them. For the first time, in a long time, Life is going as it should.... I'm excited about the future.... I'm thinking I may even want to plant a garden, and give myself the TIME to take care of it... AND have lots of friends over to help me eat the fruits of my labor!!!! So if ya want to come visit, COME ON OVER, the coffee pot is always on:)

SOOOO that said, do yourself a favor and find what makes you tic, and how you  are most happy... But please remember, nobody is ever truly happy in a self absorbed world of ME.... So find you, but remember to find a way to help those around you also... Be BLESSED my friends and go make it a great day!!!!!!



The 4 Musketeers after 50

Yesterday I had lunch with the girls from my Bible Study in Aurora. Jeff calls us the 4 Musketeers!!! We 4 have been a tight group since about 1998! We have been through raising kids, and the pain that comes with letting kids go (our adult kids) the taking care of our aging parents, our parents dying, 2 have lost her spouses already. I guess you call that life!! Anyways, I was just thinking about all our changes and that these girls are the only people on this earth who know EVERYTHING about my life, well along with Jeff, but truly these girls probably know more of my emotions because..... Well just because we are girlfriends!! We've cried together at funerals or trials with or families and we rejoiced together at weddings and the births of our grandchildren. We know each others deepest secrets and our deepest pains, and have been there for each other through them all. We sat in the ER together when one of us thought we were having heart trouble, come to find out it was nothing we laughed all the way home...

But Yesterday when we met it was very different. You see we had always been pretty good to meet once a month or so for all these years, but this last year has been different. One of us lost a mom and is taking care of her dad in her home, another has been working long hours and now has a dog to take care of and is going to start square dancing, the other is babysitting her grandchildren a few days a week, and I have been holding down the ranch enjoying more then ever my country lifestyle :) But YESTERDAY when we got together for the first time in 6 months, there was a "different" about each of us..... As we ate our salad and toasted the new year with sparkling apple cider, we noticed in us, as we filled each other in on our lives, there was a CRAZY kind of peace and calm on everyone of us..... Oh we still had all the same issues in our lives, maybe even worse, one taking total care of her wheelchair bound dad and one facing back surgery this month,,,,,, BUT it was different, we all said we are just going with the flow ONE day at a time... And everyone of us felt we were right where we are suppose to be in God's plan in our lives, no questioning JUST PEACE...

Oh how I thank God for these girls and our 4 hour lunches together, whenever we can do it... We vowed to do it once a month at G's house cause of her daddy. I think we will keep that vow. What an amazing life we've had. Thank you Lord! I think life after 50 is better then before, just sayin'

Godbye 2011 HELLO 2012

Here it is 2 days before 2012!!!! Wow!!! For some reason I am so excited this year... I have new things on my heart to do, and old things on my heart that I've finally, TRUELY given up. I will admit it's been about 10 years of  LOTS of change going on in my life to get it all rearranged in my head. Those of you who know me and have walked with me through this changing season..... THANK YOU!!!! I love you with my whole heart, and you do know who you are..

So 2012 is going to bring in my life, a lot more helping the people God puts on my heart and less of sticking my nose where it was never meant to be, lol.... I am wanting to take a "Christian Life Coach" course, and am believing God to provide the funds to do that.. But unlike the past, where I have tunnel vision on just that... I intend on living this year to it's fullest, one day at a time, one person at a time! I plan on resting my body as it needs, I plan on helping out more with Erica Rae's kids, as I believe in the cause.. I plan on having a Bible Study at my house this summer with 12 women (only God knows all of them cause I only have 6 in mind at the time:) I want to mentor these women in the WORD of God and not religion. I am going to take Tanner and Peyton on lots more fun days, one at a time so as I can get to know each one of them more personally...  I want to take more trips to the mountains with my Jeffie. I have to hike my Larry dad and my Uncle Buddy's favorite place "Echo Lake" Maybe it will turn into my favorite place also... We will celebrate both my mom and Jeff's step mom's (Jane) 80 birthdays this year... I WILL BE AT BOTH!!!! whew, I think I might need a nap already just thinkin of all this:):):) I want to take more pictures and be a better scrapbooker of our life and times to leave for my kids and grand kids... Awe YES 2012 holds big stuff for us!!!!!

Christmas week was so awesome, what used to be one day of celebrating was 3 (4 with Gma K's still to come next week) days of pure Bliss... I will post a few pictures of our sledding, both at our house and my cousin Roxie's... We took Tanner to Roxie's with us to be with his cousins... They had so much fun with not a single argument... I think us adults could learn a thing or two from those kids..... just sayin':) Tanner played his guitar for us, with cousin Craig Campbell (rising Country legend, lol) holing his music and tuning his guitar for him.

God's correction to me on Tim Tebow

Soooooo, after last nights amazing win against the Jets..... The fb posts started rolling about Tim Tebow, now everyone who knows me, KNOWS I am one of Tim Tebows greatest fans. His is the only jersey I have ever owned and I bought it before we were even SURE he was a Bronco! I taught Tanner to yell "Go Tebow" when he was 3 and a half!!! I love the KID, Tebow that is... (Tanner too, even more then Tebow, but he's not what THIS blog is about, lol) All that said, my post on Tebow last night got out of hand and God very clearly let me know about it in the middle of the night. You see a friend posted a pic of Tim without a shirt, I re posted and the fun began. Caught up in all the excitement of the amazing win, it did get out of hand, I knew that when I shut off my computer last night, but then God started working on me on why I loved Tebow in the first place.... I loved his faith!!! I loved that he has already seen so much of the world by going on missions!! I loved that he was humble, and I remembered why I fell in love with him in the first place. It was the commercial he did for focus on the family, and I LOVED how he LOVED his mother.... That's when I became a Tebow fan!!!!

Now I have grown into a bigger Tebow fan, because I can clearly see the walk this boy has with the Lord, and God is BLESSING his socks off in the process, why???? Because Tim has a HUMBLE HEART, and he loves the Lord with his whole heart. I believe he gets wisdom right in the game because he asks God for it and he believes God gives it. I believe he works hard one day at a time to be the best he can be, and I believe he gives God the Glory and Thanks HE deserves! All that said~~~

Who is Tim Tebow ~ He is a MAN that loves the Lord and has been Blessed BY the Lord to do his job well, sometimes even pretty amazing, he is a good kid who does more important work off the field then on the field (that came straight from him last night in his interview directly after the game when he talked about his hospital foundation) He is a AWESOME role model for my grand babies of which there are few around these days. He loves his family, and he is a cute kid who I hope finds a GODLY wife who will be his help mate in life. He is humble and Loves the Lord his God with his whole heart. And I pray all this fame NEVER changes that. He is someone I admire more then anyone in a long time. He works hard and receives wisdom from above BECAUSE he asks for it. He is a good boy, BUT......

Who Tim Tebow is not ~ He is not a God, or even Jesus as the new jerseys suggest, nor an IDOL. and I should not make him one, and I believe in my heart he doesn't want to be made one either!!!!

So all that said... GO TEBOW, show yourself STRONG in the LORD, and I will remain one of you many fans, I see what God is doing in you and love it!!! The world knows something is DIFFERENT about you, I pray the WORLD would see the same DIFFERENT in me... So Tim you are a role model to me as a Christian, but you are not my God, and you would never want to make yourself that... So in the end I say GO TEBOW!!!!  I love you kid, and I love how you handle yourself, you are truly Blessed!!!! I will keep looking up to you and pray for you, but I will remember you are BLESSED by God, not GOD!!!! And I will thank the Lord for His correction!!!

Time for a mental vacation

I've been thinking about my post the other day. The one that said I think it can be dangerous to go down memory lane too often, but I want to recant that statement.... I'm pretty sure that is exactly what I need to do for my mental healths sake:) I've been running on high speed now for years, and let's face it, the last 11 years since Bev's death have been the hardest time of my life, with MANY TRIALS, both financial and family.... Oh don't get me wrong there have been just as many, if not more BLESSINGS, such as grandbabies, our dream ranch and a quiet lifestyle I love... But I WANT to go down memory lane, I WANT to remember the good old days so I can reconnect to MY ROOTS... The last 11 years I've been broken and now I have the answer to how I will get fixed...It took last night of staying up most of the night to figure it out, but I did get it.... I got the peace in my mind (FINALLY) about how I am going to go about it.... First off I am going to take the time to get this house in order, closets cleaned out, mud room, scrap booking room etc....I'm going to plan dinners with friends and family, I'm going to visit my Granny K more often, I'm going to take my grandbabies on outings that show them who I am, and give them some good old Norman/Kirchmar/James values, cause we are great people.... I am going to scrapbook my past and go down memory lane doing it.... Remember who I was and what I want to be in the future. Scrapbook my 22 years of daycare, my years with my kids, my parents and Jeff's parents and our whole amazing family... Yes this will be a good time... I lost me somewhere in all the changes in life, but I thank God He showed me last night just what I need to do to get ME back... So I apologize in advance if I can't be where I've been in the past, but I really want to be where God is showing me to be now...

So I leave you with this thought...... Do you like how your life is turning out????? If not make the changes!!!!! Life is short, make sure you are leaving the legacy of YOU to your family... If you have lost YOU, I beg of you, go find yourself!!!!!! Have a VERY BLESSED DAY!!!!

Thank you Lord, that you are the lighthouse that guides me in this Life.

Goin down memory lane............

Here I sit alone, as Jeff is in town Plowing... We had our first plowable snow last night, wind blew like crazy so I have a few drifts out there. I had to climb gates to feed the horses this A.M., nice to know I still can:)........ So anyway I was going to try to get lots done today, but decided it's been crazy busy the last few weeks, so I'm taking a day of rest and may I say it has been wonderful, Getting my thoughts in order!!! I talked with cousin George this morning on SKYPE, I just love this new age, talking to a cousin in Cali and can see him, wow!!! Then Beth called and we talked (too long:) then I got side tracked by PANDORA radio listening to COUNTRY CHRISTMAS music, and of course I had to post it on FB then Colette sent me to Colorado Christmas by Nitty Gritty Dirt Band.... Well that got me somehow to Dan Fogleberg, that then had me put him in PANDORA... Well that brought up great stuff like Jim Croce, Crosby Stills & Nash and more.... So now my thoughts have turned to my younger days!!! It got my memories going to dancin around our living room with my babies in my arms.... We did a lot of dancing in our home even when the boys grew up... Sometimes I think it's dangerous to live too much in the past, but today it is making me CRAZY HAPPY!!!! I'm so thankful for my family and all the memories that have been flooding my mind today, yes some tears have fallen too... But mostly I'm thanking the Lord for my life, and praying my boys have those same happy memories in the back of their minds also... Maybe when they turn 50 they will think on some and smile like I have!!! For now I'll continue listening to my  music and smile:):) Right now "Southern Cross" by Crosby, Stills & Nash is playing on my Boise Also heard "Time in a bottle" Oh if we could just save "the good old days"!!! Yep that would be great, but hey in a few years this will be the good old days right????!!!! Have a Blessed day everyone and be thankful for the small stuff!